Take into consideration that some people with ostomies are still ill, even if they don’t look sick.The ostomy bag might have somewhat made them better and saved their life but it will still take its toll on our body and can affect us day to day.I rarely ever told anyone before the 3 date, because in my opinion, having an ostomy isn’t really one of those – “Hey, what’s your sign? I usually kept things under-wraps until I knew I was really interested.Now that I am more open with my disease and my ostomy in the efforts to raise awareness, who knows, maybe it would be a first date topic?!Please don’t feel sorry for us or make us feel bad for having a bag, we just want to get on with it like ‘normal’ people.We can’t always attend things spontaneously because most of us prefer to have a heads up so we can make sure everything’s okay and we are feeling well enough to go to these social occasions.In my research, it was seen that those in your position can and quite often DO go on to experience happy and very fulfilled lives, with companionship/marriage/sexual relations/etc.
I know there are genuine men out there, so please don't think I am being negative. OP -- We all have different level of comfort that we're willing to accept.
However, dating can also be a fun and exciting experience, and having an ostomy should not scare you away from enjoying someone else’s company.
I’ve had my fair share of dating since having my surgery over 10 years ago, and to be honest I didn’t date much prior to my ostomy (mind you, I was 15 years old at the time of my first operation and I’m not sure what you would even classify as “dating” at that time).
I have had a couple of replies to my profile and as soon as they know what an Ostomate is, they disappeared... Different levels of "weird" we're ready to embrace.
For some, this situation could present a weird factor that would turn them off. I had a suspicion as to what it related to, but I went out looking and researching just to be sure as I've never heard the exact term.